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Jesus said “that anyone who looks at a woman [or man] lustfully has already committed adultery with her [or him] in his heart” (Matthew ).
A Focus on the Family poll (October 1, 2003) found that 47% of the families they surveyed said that pornography is a problem in their homes. Thirty-four percent of female readers of Today’s Christian Woman’s online newsletter (Fall, 2003) admitted to looking at pornography.
It feels like a personal failure to admit your spouse is seeking sexual satisfaction in ways other than through marital intimacy.
Spouses also worry about the ramifications of exposing their partners to other people, especially if it will cost a job.
It is even rampant in the clergy: 51% of pastors say cyber-porn is a temptation that they could give in to, and 37% say it is currently a problem for them (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, 12/2001).
Another study from Christianity Today (2000) found that 18% of clergy admitted to visiting a sexually explicit site at least a couple of times per month.
It depends on the health of the marriage, the addicted partner’s ability to change and willingness to get help, the non-addicted spouse’s ability to forgive, the severity and length of the addiction, and the non-addicted spouse’s feelings about divorce.