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In fact, she finds it funny that he was so honest about the lack of chemistry after their first date, and that admission allowed them to talk about it together and decide to give things another go.
Chemistry is the sum total of what we grew up with, what we saw mentored in our own homes and our personal wiring. Will it ever feel as intense as a natural first meeting spark? Can you build a healthy marriage or life with someone you don’t feel that spark for? I could not say that about life in general as life is about learning all aspects of one’s self and some of those are painful. –Mary Jo Rapini For more information and MONTHLY FREE RELATIONSHIP TIP go to: to me on my fan page: Tweet me: @ Mary Jo Rapini Get your “MOJO MOMENT” each day on Fox 26 at 7a.m and 9a.m.
Recently, Sally, 28 from Sydney, went on what can only be described as the Perfect First Date with a guy who could only be described as THE Perfect Man – he was handsome, charming, witty and genuinely interested in her. According to e Harmony Psychologist and Dating Expert, Melanie Schilling, it’s important to note there are two types of ‘spark’; “I call them the ‘WOW’ and the ‘AHHH’.
The WOW is often driven by hormonal reactions to the physical presence of an attractive mate.
"You have to assess whether there's enough there in terms of, 'Did I enjoy myself? Or it can awaken with a first kiss." So if chemistry can be misleading, then how do you really know if someone is right for you?
Betito suggests looking for shared values or goals: "If you look at the literature on arranged marriages, you have a lot of success, because they're arranged based on commonalities," she explains.
As New York-based dating coach and matchmaker Maria Avgitidis points out, "most first dates feel like interviews. Even if your date didn't make you weak in the knees, he or she may have more potential once you get to know each other better. "But sometimes, attraction goes beyond the physical and you have to get to know a little bit about somebody.
"I liked him, but it definitely was not 'yup, this is The One.'" The guy actually emailed her afterwards to say that he'd had fun, but hadn't felt any spark.
But Sabol told him she thought it was too soon to tell, so three weeks later, they met up again for hot wings and Bloody Marys. The couple is now married and living in Racine, WI with two kids.
"Families fix you up with people who have the same beliefs, culture…
a spark can build based on what you have in common.
Chemistry predicts nothing but chemistry." Sure, your date might make you giddy, but will he call like he promised to do? These compatibility issues often get glossed over once a spark ignites between two people.